*Puts “Clairvoyant” by The Story so Far on repeat, takes a deep breath*
Let me channel my inner Andy Mineo for a second….
“I think rejection is our biggest fear.”
Yeah, there he is.
Let’s talk about that.
Rejection, that is, not the fact that I live off Andy Mineo lyrics. That’s for another day.
Everyone is so sweet and nice and oh my goodness they just seem so perfect….when things are going their way.
It’s so easy to put on your good-girl/nice-guy mask to win somebody over.
T R U S T M E I F E L L F O R IT
But when the cards don’t work and you find yourself losing, that’s when the real you comes out. Or the real them. Either way, chances are that it isn’t pretty.
You can A L W A Y S learn how people really are from watching how they handle difficulties.
The way people handle rejection tells you a lot about their true selves.
Or your true self.
You’re not an emotionless robot- you’ve fallen in love before.
Your eyes don’t stay as dry as the Sahara- you’ve cried over a heartbreak.
Love is one of the BIGGEST, if not the MOST IMPORTANT life lesson, because it’s all about your soul.
Rejection, heartbreak, and any relationship difficulties, accelerate your personal growth.
To explain, I’ll split the ways people handle rejection into three categories.
TOO NEEDY, MUST STOP
These people are the type that drain all of your energy. You can ignore them all you want, but they’re there. They’re always there.
You give them a good reason for the breakup, and make sure to not hurt their feelings too much, but they still don’t get it.
They think “We’re over” is some kind of code for “try harder”.
They try to become who they think you want.
They only do that because they don’t really know themselves.
When that card doesn’t work, they try to save you or fix you.
They try to convince you that you’re meant to be together.
They settle for being just an option.
They expect you to be responsible for their happiness.
HE/SHE IS GOING TO KILL ME BRO
These people are THE WORST in my opinion.
They pull the “So and so’s drug dealer dad is coming after you” card, then act like they had NOOOOO IDEA, like “Oh em gee what a weird co-inky-dink that he’s looking for you RIGHT AFTER WE BREAK UP lol haha *smiley emoji, kissy emoji*”
(Good gosh it’s mighty shady over here *smirks*)
These people think that they are so good looking, have a great social importance, and deserve anything they want.
They aren’t used to rejection.
They use charm and sex to get what they want.
They want everything, but refuse to give the same to you.
Unless of course, they realize someone else will give you everything. Then they’ll put a little effort into it. But that’ll fall flat within a month tops.
They are unable to respect independence and don’t respect the other person’s point of view. They can be angry, vengeful, passive aggressive, or show hostile indifference.
T O T A L L Y E M O T I O N A L L Y I M M A T U R E
TOO CUTE TO CARE
This is the type of person that has a healthy amount of self-esteem and self-respect. Social and financial status don’t matter. They have strong morals, integrity, resilience, and stability.
They handle fallout well.
They’re not the type to push commitment or seek validation from someone, because they have worked on discovering and accepting their authentic selves.
They’re aware of their own insecurities and weaknesses. They use sympathy to understand why you choose to reject them. They remain polite and walk away, because they know they are okay without you.
They understand it’s a matter of perspective and don’t take it too personally.
I can honestly say that I have been all three at one point or another. It’s taken me years, and a lot of self-reflection, but finally I’ve reached the secure type. It’s pretty great.
Not only do you start to look deeper into yourself, but you don’t feel sorry for yourself anymore. Which is awesome, because self-pity is toxic.
You also learn to vocalize what exactly you’re looking for, and forgive yourself more.