“13 Reasons Why” Made Me Want to Kill Myself, So I Watched It.


I avoided the show for a while, because I have suicidal tendencies.
I kept seeing it pop up on my Facebook newsfeed, and one day I saw the scene where she slits her wrists in the bathtub. My initial thought was “I could do that.” Right then and there I knew I had to avoid the show.
So I waited even longer to dive into the new craze.
In order to keep track of my own mind while watching the show, so that I can make sure I’m okay, I took notes on what I was thinking. As it turns out, giving myself that time before watching the show helped me prepare myself and made it much easier to swallow the show.
Here are 50 things that went through my mind while watching 13 Reasons Why.

1. She is so pretty and young.
2. Those girls are taking selfies with her locker…. I remember when that happened with Tanner.
3. Clay is so broken. I can’t even. This is unbearable.
4. “okay then Princess Leia.” Is probably the cutest thing ever. 10 points to the friend.
5. “it’s always that damn smile.” “You were my kryptonite.”
6. DID SHE JUST BUMP HIM. BRUUUUUUH THE COURAGE IS REAL.
7. I swear Clay and Graham are the same.
8. “you did research. I like it. It shows initiative.” MY HEART.
9. HE JUST SENT HER A TEXT. HERE WE GO. OH BOY. HERE WE GO.
10. UPDATE. SHE’S TOTALLY GOT THAT SMILE GOING ON.
11. He’s an idiot. Nevermind.
12. “Two trains going full speed.” NOOOOOOOO. THAT’S THE HOOK.
13. Too cute. My heart. Ouch.
14. “And I’m scared, because I don’t know how to fly.”
15. “pardon me, but you really hurt my feelings.”
16. I can’t deal with this show.
17. Clay. Stop making out with her. Please. *takes headphones out*
18. Hannah NOOOOOOOO. Don’t trust the dollar valentines. No. No. No. No. No milkshakes. Don’t go home with him. NO.
18. “I thought you were easy.” GIRL NO. DON’T CRY OVER THAT HOEBAG.
19. My heart. Freaking gosh.
20. The more I see Clay, the more he looks like Graham bruh.
21. “But through it all, you want to know that there are good guys in this world.”
22. Flowers make me so happy. Like..as soon as I find a guy that brings me flowers, I’ll keep him.
23. Rape. Right.
24. *crying* BUT TONY DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!
25. Did Clay just crash?
26. OH HE’S GOOD.
27. Freaking flashbacks bro.
28. ARMPIT HAIR LORD ALMIGHTY
29. Screw relationships. I hate relationships. Make me sick. So sick.
30. Kaaaaay so what are these weird flashbacks?
31. Did. He. Do. Something. To. Hannah. Oh. My. Gosh.
32. It’s easier to be mad than be sad.
33. Can we talk about Alex’s shoes though? They are baaaaaaeeee.
34. Jeff 😭😭😭
35. “What I could’ve had but never would.”
36. “I’ve always admired you.”
37. “It’s love, it’s not logic.”
38. I kind of want pizza right now.
39. “Girl. Singular.”
40. THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS
41. O M G BRYCE AND JESS NO
42. “You need food so you can settle the F down.”
43. I need Tarot cards like now. I’ve wanted them for how long now? And I STILL don’t have them?
44. “Unhelpful Yoda”
45. HE KISSED HER. HE KISSED HER. HE KISSED HER. HE KISSED HER. HE KISSED HER.
46. I’M DYING
47. HE KISSED HER.
48. “Please don’t leave.”
49. I’m crying. I’m legitimately crying. I’m crying so hard. I’m crying so hard right now. No. No. No. NO. NO.
50. “I ran, I was scared.”

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