The “Douchebag” Test (4 Easy Steps)

Well, to be blunt, if you think he’s a douchebag, he probably is.

Maybe he wasn’t at first, but that’s because he wants to show off his good side so that he can get you in this wonderful trap called a “relationship”. Like seriously, it’s a trap. 

Here are a few signs to see if he’s a douchebag. Trust me on this, I’m an expert. 

  1. You think he could be a douchebag. Maybe it’s because he calls his ex that “B word” that no female should really tolerate. Or maybe you’ve just picked up on his selfish behavior, you know?
  2. You wake up thinking he’s a douchebag. If you’re wondering whether or not to text him, because he may not respond, then yeah. Or maybe you’re wondering if he even cares. Maybe he only calls you when he’s drinking.
  3. You see his name (or whatever emojis you’ve substituted it with) come up in your notifications and you think, “Yeah, he’s a douchebag.” You’re already dreading the conversation, and you already know you’ll be doing a lot of eye rolling.
  4. Your friend sees you and asks how you and “your boo” are, and you say “he’s a douchebag”, with that little sigh that signals your resignation from battle.

If you know he’s a douchebag, you already know what to do. Stop reading this for external validation. Just dump him already.

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