Accurate Slogans for American Cities


Austin, TX: “If you like bands no one has heard of and desert heat, give Austin a chance!”

Salem, NH: “No, we’re not that Salem.”

Sheridan, WY: “Come visit us in your truck! What? You don’t drive a truck? Forget it.”

Brooklyn, NY: “Stay close to a hipster, or you could get murdered! Sorry!”

Columbus, OH: “We’re the capital of Ohio! That’s got to count for something.”

Boston, MA: “We get away with racism because we have gay marriage and foliage!”

Hartford, CT: “Keep driving! You’re halfway through Connecticut!”

Seattle, WA: “Sorry, we’ll try to stop bumming you out by raining and bringing up our exes.”

Portland, OR: “Man up, Seattle — get some strip clubs! Also, tattoos!”

Minneapolis, MN: “Please give us a shot! Thanks!”

Los Angeles, CA: “Our buildings are climate controlled, as are our personalities.”

San Francisco, CA: “Natural habitat of vegan hobos!”

Norfolk, NE: “Come check out our corn! We’ve got a pie in the oven.”

Chattanooga, TN: “We have an aquarium! There are more whales than Jewish people here!”

Atlanta, GA: “You can come see us, but you’ll have to walk! The roads can’t hold more than a ton!”

Aspen, CO: “Come be rich with us!”

Las Vegas, NV: “Save some for the whores.”

Santa Cruz, CA: “Cowabunga!”

Detroit, MI: “On second thought, maybe not.”

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