13 Things I Totally Fear (besides the number 13)

  1. I’m terrified that one day everyone will find out that I’m not actually a good human being with a pretty heart. That one day they’ll realize that I live for The Weeknd’s “Drunk in Love” remix and Jon Bellion’s “Carry Your Throne” instead of Chris Tomlin’s “Good Good Father”.
  2. I’m scared I’ll waste all of my potential and be stuck in this tiny backwoods town for the rest of my life.
  3. I don’t like that there are people who really know me. Who know that I’m broken, and not that happy girl I let the world see.
  4. I’m worried that I’m “too intense” to ever find someone who will be willing to live their life with me.
  5. I’m scared that even when I speak up and stand up for people who need me, I won’t ever be able to save them.
  6. I’m scared I’m the reason everyone leaves me. My mom, my distant family, my ex boyfriends, my old friends.
  7. I’m scared I’ll always chase guys who don’t want me around, because somehow their validation is important.
  8. I’m scared I’ll never rock a cute bikini on the beach again.
  9. I’m scared I’ll never be wife material. I’m much too wild.
  10. I’m scared people will forget about me if I don’t contact them every single day.
  11. I’m scared I’ll annoy everyone because I’m too clingy sometimes.
  12. I’m scared I’m going to live “the way I’m supposed to” instead of the way that makes me happy.
  13. I’m afraid my voice doesn’t matter and that my fears are small and insignificant and I’m also small and insignificant, nothing I do or say matters.

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